So last night I had an anxiety dream. I have them from time to time but this one was different.
My usual ‘go to’ anxiety dream relates back to my days as a performer, where I am desperately trying to learn the lines for a play that I am just about to perform in but cannot find the script and when I do find it the pages needed are missing! I have had this one so frequently I now know (as I am dreaming) that it is a dream!
This one was different. In this one I was with a large group of strangers but could not find anyone to connect with. Everyone I spoke to seemed disinterested in what I had to say, blanked me or simply walked away. They seemed to be having a great time with each other and for some reason it was important for me to get to know these people…. but I couldn’t.
I have just completed four Coaching Sessions with Katherine Brown from
‘Make a Difference Coaching’ The focus was around how I express our values as a business with authenticity. I didn’t realise until the coaching started that there was another question. Why do I give so much headspace to people I don’t connect with and situations where I don’t feel I fit in?
Through the Coaching I began to articulate something I have always really known. When I feel relaxed with an individual or small group of people I can 100% be myself and say what I feel. I can even be quite funny sometimes! However, when that connection isn’t there, I can sometimes feel lost and inadequate….disappearing into a headspace of overthinking or making excuses to leave as soon as I can. Does anyone else relate to this?
So back to the dream. There I was surrounded by people (too many for my level of comfort) desperately trying to connect and failing. What a pointless and exhausting exercise.
Connection is not something we can force. It is there or it is not there. We feel comfortable with some people and not with others. Very simple. It doesn’t mean we don’t like, admire or respect those people. We just don’t instinctively emotionally or spiritually connect and that is ok. As long as we have people we DO connect with, no matter how many, that is all that matters. Also recognising that having a smaller group of people we connect with, potentially means that we have better and more truthful friendships. I am not too sure the people in my dream really knew each other that well!
Stay connected to those you connect with. Be YOU and have a lovely day X